


Hear Me

by england_is_mine



Category: Arctic Monkeys, Last Shadow Puppets
Genre: Deaf!Alex, Disability, Disabled Character, Fluff, M/M, consistency who, never heard of her, when they say promises they don’t mean promises
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:54:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26362231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/england_is_mine/pseuds/england_is_mine
Summary: Alex is deaf and Miles convinces him to get the implant.
Relationships: Miles Kane/Alex Turner
Comments: 5
Kudos: 32





	Hear Me

**Author's Note:**

> Ya don’t expect frequent posts lol. Thanks for reading, this is in no way meant to romanticise deafness.  
> Tumblr: @england-is-mine  
> Reddit: @lightning-blue-eyes
> 
> This is a work of fiction. Although resemblance to real people is implied, any actions they depict are not real. Their privacy must be respected at all times.

I am reluctant to shake Alex awake. I always am. When eventually I quit staring at him, dark eyes peer open and squint at the sun ever so slightly, and then he grins at me. 

“Hi,” I beam, laying in between his legs. 

“Hi,” he grins, immediately reaching for my hair. 

We say nothing else for a moment, wanting to just look at each other. Perhaps with a missing sense he can hear just what I'm thinking through my eyes. Normally I know just what to say, but the air is almost scenic, with him staring at me like this. I feel like my words should be perfectly moulded.  _ Do you want breakfast? Can I kiss you? You look gorgeous like this. I love you.  _

“So you just woke me to stare at me or?”

“Oh, shut up.” I roll my eyes and sit up. ”It’s ten already. We have to be at the doctors for 11,” I sign to him out of habit.

“You don’t have to keep signing, Miles. I’d rather talk,” he almost whispers. There’s a real sad look in his eyes, like a dog being refused food, and I can feel it dig into me. 

“Sorry.” I move my thumb in circles on his waist. “Habit,” he nods then, understanding. With all this money, he had begun to afford the top speech therapist in LA, which were vital for interviews especially. I wanted to learn sign language anyway. I felt it was my duty to him. It’s our secret code.

He opens his arms for me, willing me to be held. I look at him with a sort of ‘seriously,’ kind of look as the time ticks away. He just gives me the same look back, and I cave in by grinning and climbing into his arms. We lie for a while, comfortable and warm. We share kisses and small touches in compensation for the lack of words. Obviously, at nighttime, we can’t talk because he can’t see my lips late at night. So we exchange swirl patterns on upper arms, on the curves of each other’s waists and backs, instead of sound waves. This is how we do small talk. 

I have to break it. “Come on. Breakfast,” I say, and get up to leave. He groans. “Come on, up! You might be late with the guys but not with me, love. Move,” he eventually rolls out, staring me down. I do almost feel bad, but just smirk and leave him to get changed. 

Today we were going to see his speech therapist about the implant. He’d managed to convince Alex that he could turn it on and off whenever he wanted, and if he so desired he could get it removed. 

_ “I can’t promise that I’ll be a better person when I can hear, you know that, reyt?” _

_ “What do you mean?” _

_ “I mean- I need time. Sometimes I might need silence. I might not be any- easier… when I can hear,” _

_ “I don’t want you to hear so you can be easier to deal with, Alex. I want you to hear me. I want you to hear me sing,” _

I poured the coffee, and eventually he came around the corner fresh and dressed. He wandered over and wrapped his arms around my waist as I made breakfast, his head resting on my back for a moment. I listened to the bacon and eggs sizzle, his breathing. I nudged him to let him know I wanted to speak.

“I’m playing music,” I told him as he stood beside me now.

“Who?” He grinned, standing on his tiptoes to get more level with me in a teasing sort of way. 

“Stone Roses,” I smiled back before kissing him gently, a hand on his waist.

“Only the best,” he reciprocated before turning around to sit on the counter. Contrary to popular belief, he can hear music when it’s loud enough through headphones. He can also touch it to feel the vibrations. It’s the only way his parents could keep him entertained, he told me once, so he had quite an extensive taste. 

Then obviously, there’s the band. He really is something special, Alex. He can’t hear a damn thing but his voice is angelic. The man can turn poetry into sounds without even hearing. He’s a modern Beethoven, except he’s been deaf since birth. I think he’s amazing, and beautiful, which helps. He glares at me with a cheeky grin that I almost can’t resist- he is naughty sometimes. As you’d expect, he doesn’t talk much, much preferring to have his nose deep into some book. But when he moans- that’s something else. I have to shake away the thought before I get too heated- but those noises, they’re just for me, and it makes me smile.

_ “Do I make much noise?” He asked me, using his fingers to play with the hair on my chest. He looked up, awaiting a response. _

_ “A little,” I was grinning.  _

_ “Oh go on. Tell me everyfink,” he lifted himself up more, wrapping the white sheets around his naked waist.  _

_ “There’s not much to tell. You hardly make noise until the end, up until then it’s sort of like soft whines, which I love. But then- then y’ get a little louder, and that’s when y’ start saying my name, and that’s when I lose it, ‘cause you never say my name like tha,” _

“Stop lookin’ at me like that,” I grin.

“Like what?”

“Like I’m standin’ completely naked and you’re about to jump me any minute,” He laughs at that, and I feel my heart do the thing, feeling like a teenage girl. 

“You’ve gone red!” 

“Stop…” I blush, focusing on the pan like it’s the most interesting thing in the world. He hops off the counter to come up behind me again, teasing. 

“Oh, Miles darlin’, quickly? You can have me right here. I don’t need breakfast, if you know what I mean…” he purrs down my ear, and licks my neck in a joking and teasing manner. I guess you can say we hadn’t ended the honeymoon phase. I just laughed and turned so he could see my lips-

“Later. I’m not burnin’ this bacon,” 

He pouted jokingly and took his coffee away. Once I was finished, I joined him at the table.

***

“Okay, Alex, how are we today?” The guy asked, and I frowned at his patronising tone. 

“I’m good, fanks,” Alex said.

“That’s some excellent work on your accent, there, Alex,” he says. “Although I don’t suppose you’ll need to be trying for much longer.” He grinned, taking a seat after messing around with some data sheets. To be honest, the man creeped me out. He really was the best of the best, not that that meant anything. Maybe I was just being jealous. He was in his early forties perhaps, obviously black dyed hair and whitened teeth, and spoke with that typical midwestern American accent. “Business as usual then, to begin with. Have you brought a book with you today Alex?” Alex, I could tell, was bursting with excitement to pull out _A Clockwork Orange,_ bookmarked and ready, from his bag. “Excellent- although are you sure that’s not too tough?” I wanted to punch the guy and rip his eyes out. Alex seemed to like him though, which I suppose is all that matters. He shook his head no. “Go ahead and read me a paragraph then, Alex. But this time, I’d like you to whisper towards the end. Take your time,” Alex cleared his throat. 

“‘O most beautiful and beauteous of devotchkas, I frow like my heart at your feet for you to like trample all over. If I had a rose I would give it to you.”

“Perfect,” the doctor commented to himself, as Alex began to whisper. 

“If it was all rainy and cally now on the ground you could have my platties to walk on as not to cover your dainty nogas with filth and cal. And as I was saying all this, O my brothers, I could feel the sickness like slinking back.” He was struggling a little, and touched his throat. 

“Okay, good.” He smiled, and gestured for me to stop him. “You’re trying just a touch too hard there, which is why you’re feeling some strain on your vocal chords. Don’t breathe so much into it. Just relax,” he smiled again. I wondered why the man’s face wasn’t hurting yet from all the flaming grinning. Alex seemed pleased with himself. “So you wanted to discuss the implant?” He looked at me then.

***

“So, y’ sure about this?”

“Never surer. I wanna hear you laugh,” he grinned. “I wanna make better music,” 

“Y’ make great music,”

“But fink of all the crazy shit I could do wif ears!” He really did make me laugh.

“Okay. I just don’t wanna take away such a huge part of who you are,”

“I can still turn it off when I’m mad at you. Don’t you worry,” Admittedly there had been times when in an argument he’d just shut his eyes, which could be pretty funny on occasion. “And plus, Miles. I wanna hear our kids laugh. I wanna hear them cry. I want to be there for them, and there for you.” He took my hand, and I felt that my cheeks were red. “So bashful,” he grinned, eyeing my breakfast.

“No.” I said. “Don’t even think about it. No food before surgery,” I said, taking my plate away. He frowned. 

“Do you think I’ll look good with a partly shaved head? Maybeh we should just shave all of it,” he began abruptly, using his reflection in the black mirror of his phone to sort of style his hair. 

“Shut up,” I laughed, taking my plate to the sink. “You are not shaving your entire head,” 

***

They had told me two to four hours. It was getting on for hour four, and admittedly I was getting a bit fed up of George Orwell’s Animal Farm that Al had lent me. I stared at the clock working it’s magic to no avail, and then the pale-faced receptionist who too looked incredibly bored. In here with me to my left was a much older man, and to my right a woman in her thirties. 

Alex had told me to go out and get some fresh air, go to the shops or something, but I couldn’t help not being able to move or leave him for a second, and the more time went on the more worried I got. Eventually though, after I’d counted that there were approximately 35 posters on the notice board (give or take), Alex’s surgeon poked her head around the door with a smile on her face. 

“All done. Come with me,” was all she said. Needless to say I leapt up, abandoning the book for the seat. 

“So what’s the verdict?” I asked.

“Very good yes, he’s perfectly fine. I should imagine he’ll be awake in five and then we can begin,”

_ Jesus Christ,  _ I thought,  _ and then we can begin.  _ He’ll hear my voice for the first time (well, he’d tried to blast it through headphones and said it was funny, but it’s just not the same). I followed the sound of her heels and tried to keep up as we approached the room, and there he was, head shaven where the implant was, fast asleep in a hospital gown. 

“God,” I muttered without thought at the sight, having never seen him like this before. 

“Take a seat, Miles,” she said to me, and I had to say I much preferred her to Alex’s therapist. 

“Can I touch him?” I asked.

“Of course, just be gentle,” she said, and so I held his hand as she tapped on her computer next to me for a moment. “Okay so, when he wakes up he’ll be a bit confused, but don’t be alarmed. His ears will probably ache and ring as well, but that’ll fade. Once he’s come around properly, he won’t be able to hear you straight away, but I’ll slowly increase the volume until he does, okay?” She finished, and I just nodded, having been prepared beforehand. “You’ve got nothing to worry about, Miles,” she smiled, sensing my anxiety. 

After more button pressing and chart-checking, I felt Alex’s fingers twitch and saw him flinch slightly. My eyes raced between him and her, my hands nervously cupping his. When he regained full consciousness, panic filled his face. 

“I can’t- I can’t hear you. I can’t hear,” he repeated senselessly, and I moved closer.

“Shhh, it takes time, babe, remember?” I reassured him about the conversation we’d had with doctors before he went under. I could tell by the rapid rise and fall of his chest that he was more stressed than he’d ever been, and filled with endless dread. 

“Turning the volume up now, Miles,” the kind woman told me. I couldn’t stop smiling. It was possible that I had never felt so happy- I squeezed his hand tighter and pulled my chair closer.

Eventually the fear in his eyes calmed as he focused them on mine. We stared at each other for an age. I’d gotten to know every fleck in his eye perfectly over the years, and now was no exception. I clasped that hand hard, and began repeating about how much I loved him until it was audible. Until tears began to form in his eyes, and spill down his cheeks. 

“I love you too,” he sobbed, separating our hands so he could cup my face and dry my own tears that were teasing at the corners of my eyes. He laughed and immediately flinched at the sound of it. 

“Fuck, I sound ridiculous,” he complained and then used his sleeve to wipe his eyes, laughing through the whole ordeal. My face had begun to ache from all the smiling. 

“No you don’t,” I laughed. “You’ll get used to it.”

“I love you,” he told me again.

“I love you too,” I uttered back. 

They had advised that Alex gradually integrate sound into his life. Hence why for example, he couldn’t waltz out of the hospital on full volume, because he would’ve had a panic attack. After a few weeks of convincing him that cars weren’t evil, we ventured into downtown after having spent so much time indoors listening to all his favourite records, the splash of the pool, the birds, the occasional bike, and everything in between. It’s amazing how many little things we take for granted. Every day was something new to him. Whenever I cracked my knuckles he would flinch- the first time he typed on a keyboard he almost jumped. The most shocking of these it appeared was the sound of pencil on paper for the first time. He said it was incredible. 

***

_ 6 months later, Chicago _

I’m stood behind a camera as they interview him in lieu of his performance for later. The band are performing at Lollapalooza Festival for the first time since he’s been able to hear. The weather is lovely, and he’s wearing his Stone Roses shirt and some blue jeans. His hair is all fluffy right now, but after the performance it will stick to his forehead and he’ll be constantly pushing it out of his face. 

“Are you nervous?”

“Uh- yeah, a little. I’m excited. I’ve been practicin’ so it’s not all bad,” he smirks, looking relaxed as ever- hand on his thigh, an elbow resting on the back of the sofa. 

“What’s the best thing about being able to hear, now that you can?” He looks straight at me, with a look of having been asked the same question repeatedly in every interview since the surgery. 

“I get to hear my man of course,” he says, without breaking eye contact once. 


End file.
